Having recently shared some thoughts on how a clear purpose can help us build and maintain better relationships, especially when those relationships involve helping our children push through things they’re not necessarily interested in doing in that moment, let’s take a step back to think about why that should even matter to each of us. Just briefly, let’s make it very personal. I want you to consider why you do what you do – and the specific reason will be a little bit different for each of us.
As I opened part one of Leading With A Clear Purpose, which will be released in early 2025, I asked that same question geared specifically at why each reader chose to accept a role with any level of leadership responsibility. In the workplace, it’s nearly always easier when we only have to worry about our own performance. Rarely will the perceived perks, or the slight increase in compensation, offset the headaches that come with overseeing a team of any size. If we’re being completely honest with ourselves, the same thing holds true for parenting. The biggest difference in raising kids is that the increased responsibility typically comes with a decrease in pay, or at least less money left over for ourselves even when our paychecks grow ever-so-slightly over time.
I’ve often heard it stand that fathering a child doesn’t make someone a dad. That holds just as true for the women involved in the equation. Just like choosing to effectively lead a team in any business, being a great mom or dad requires far more. For someone to consistently choose to carry to weight involved with truly leading (never to be confused with barking orders at the people depending on you for a paycheck), there had better be a clear and definite reason. Making the often selfless decisions involved in parenting, whether our kids are five or thirty-five, is no different!
When I accepted my first position off the shop floor in a manufacturing facility, I can’t say that I had any real interest in the initiative I would be responsible for helping roll out; I applied for the position for the sole purpose of gaining new experience that might someday help me move into a role with better pay and benefits. Feeding my family and paying the mortgage was far more important to me at the time than anything I would have to do in that role. It didn’t take long to realize that I’d need a better reason than that to push through what proved to be incredibly difficult, every single day. I had to keep the long-term goal in mind while coming up with something to push me through what I needed to achieve right then.
Like most young adults, I had a vastly different lifestyle before Cindy and I got married. I won’t incriminate myself by detailing any of my shenanigans here, but I remember a few very specific times when I made decisions to put those aside. I also remember exactly why I made those decisions. Without having those specific reasons driving my decisions, a purpose if you will, I don’t think for a minute that I would have been able to have stuck with them. Truth be told, most of those shenanigans (at least the ones I could remember) were more fun on any given day. But choosing to be the best dad I knew how to be at the time has been rewarding ever since.
With that in mind, can you point to why you do what you do as a parent? What makes the sacrifice worth it for you? Next time we’ll look at something I learned from Marcus Buckingham about building love into the process…
