We are continuing our study how we as Christians must begin to go deeper in our relationship with the Lord and build a stronger foundation in the following 4 areas of our lives:
1 – Deeper relationship with God
2 – Deeper understanding of God’s Word
3 – Deeper in God’s love
4 – Deeper planting in a church of His choice
We are continuing looking at our role in being planted in a strong church community. Last issue, we covered the benefits of being planted as a member of the body of Christ, which is the Church, and how, according to Scripture, each of us as believers have a specific role as a member of the body (Ephesians 4:15-16; 5:29-30;Romans 12:4-5) and as a member, must find where we specifically fit and to fulfill our “part”, which in turn will cause other members of the body to grow together and create a healthy, loving church atmosphere. It is in this environment that the hurting, the despondent and those that are in despair can come and be refreshed and renewed, emotionally healed and touched by the Presence of God. It is here where the preaching and teaching of God’s Word combined with the moving of God’s Holy Spirit that people’s lives can be transformed, where communion and fellowship can be experienced and where strong ties with a “spiritual family” can be formed. Acts 2:42-47 give us a picture of what this life is supposed to look like as modeled by the early church:
“ All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer 43 A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. 44 And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 45 They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. 46 They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity — 47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.” (New Living Translation)
Yet, many do not see the value of regularly meeting together even though Scripture warns us not to forsake gathering in Hebrews 10:25. There are many reasons why this happens, but over the years, two of the main reasons that I have observed are church hurts and offenses and the lone wolf syndrome.
The Bible says that “An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” (Proverbs 18:19 – NLT). This is a true statement for there are many who may have at one point in their lives been very committed to a church community, but an offense or a church hurt may have turned their heart away. Those reasons may have been some of the following:
-A bad counseling session with a leader
-Not being reached out to by someone from the church when going through a tough crisis
-Losing a loved one despite everyone having prayed for them
-Conflicts with other believers that go unresolved
-Doctrinal differences that some cannot resolve causing a church split
-The financial and moral failure of a pastor or spiritual leader
The list could go on as there are countless reasons why many see no need to continue committing themselves to local church attendance. In some cases, it is true that the church can improve on reaching out to those who have been hurt before their heart becomes a “fortified city” as Proverbs 18:19 states. We as a church need to get better at this. However, this is not the case in every situation, as I can attest to.
While going through a very tough trial many years ago, I had the support of the pastor and the prayers of many of my brothers and sisters behind me. With God’s help (ultimately, you will have to trust Him first), I survived that dark time in my life where I was angry at God and stopped going to church for a short season. The prayers of many who never stopped praying for me and the open-door access that my pastor at that time allowed me not only helped to release my anger towards God, but also drew me, first, back to God, then eventually returning to the vibrant church community that I belonged to. This was my experience and also the same for many others; however, I know this isn’t always the case for everyone. Many did not get that kind of support and as time went on, with no one reaching out to them, disappointment and bitterness gripped their souls causing great discouragement and hardening their hearts as it seemed as though no one cared for them. And sadly, in the most extreme cases, this has caused some to turn away from the faith altogether.
Again, I say that we as a church (myself included) must get better at reaching out to those who have been hurt, ensuring that we are praying for them and being aware of these types of situations that come up. If we can reach out to people while they are hurting and assure them of our love, prayers and support, it would avoid many of the offenses between believers. So my appeal to those who have suffered a church hurt is to not let that stop you from reaching out to God, because, ultimately, as I realized going through my dark trial years ago, that He was the one whom I had to put my trust in. People are going to fail you. Churches may fail you, but there is One who will never let you down and that is Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. God is always there for you no matter what. As much as is within you, don’t sit in bitterness and anger. Trust God and put “feet to your faith” and seek help if you cannot break the cycle in yourself, lest you become “sealed” with a root of bitterness that not only will keep you emotionally and spiritually paralyzed, but it will affect those around you as well (Hebrews 12:15).
I don’t have an answer for every single crisis or trial that happens in some people’s lives. For example, I can’t say that I know why someone lost a spouse or a child prematurely after praying diligently. But the one thing I can say is that God is with you, no matter what you go through. Never, never let go of Him as He is faithful (1 Corinthians 1:9). Your situation may not change, but God is with you and will get you through your pain and hurt.
One good source of material that I have found very helpful is the “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” Series by Pete and Geri Scazzaro. This Bible based material has helped many, including entire churches who have experienced some trials and crises back to a healthy spiritual and emotional state. I highly recommend this.
Next month, we will tackle the second reason why some avoid church attendance; the “lone wolf” syndrome. God Bless!
