Recently, our Pastor, Ben Benavides brought us through a six-week long series on a message entitled “The Great Response”. This message challenged us as Christian people on how we respond to others, especially those whom we disagree with. Scripture says this:
Colossians 4:4-6 – NASB – Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. 6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
It really made us think, exactly how do we respond to others, in our daily interactions with them, such as those in our workplace, our home or wherever we may be. Just what do we do when faced with a crisis, or a strong disagreement with someone else? Do we “bristle” and bite back or are we a doormat and let people just walk all over us? Are we hyper defensive during times of confrontation or have we learned how to deal with it?
As Christians, we are all called to be different. We are called to love God and others as we would love ourselves (Matthew 12:30-31); Jesus commanded us (not suggested) that we love one another as He loved us (John 15:12); Scripture even says for us to love our enemies, and not only love them, but to pray for them (Matthew 5:43-48). This should be the attitude and lifestyle that we should reflect as we seek to grow up in Him and be examples to those around us. Easy-peasy, right?
Well, if we are honest with ourselves, none of us can say that we have been perfect in this area of our lives as of yet, but that it’s still a work in progress. And I will be the first one to admit that I have not always responded correctly to certain situations. Mine is not always an outward reply, but an inward “grumbling” that may not be seen by men, but God sees it. But I’m learning as I grow in my own personal walk with God.
So, just how should we respond to others we may have sharp disagreements with? Scripture gives us some keen insights on how we can learn to respond in a biblical fashion seasoned with grace. First, we must learn how to allow the Holy Spirit to have His way in our lives.
Galatians 5:16 – Amplified Classic Bible – But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).
When you became a Christian and gave your life to Jesus Christ and became a born-again believer, along with your salvation experience, you were given the Holy Spirit who came as your Helper, to dwell not only with you, but within you as well. (John 14:17). As we learn how to walk with God, we also learn how to submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit as stated in Galatians 5:16. We learn to be controlled and guided by Him and in doing so, will not always satisfy the desires our flesh wants to do, which means that we will not always want to respond to a disagreement or a crisis with a wrong spirit, but respond biblically and with a correct attitude. You see, if we get into a spat or disagreement with someone, for many of us, our first reaction would be to “fire back” with full force, because most of us would think “no one is going to talk to me like that!” But we have to ask ourselves in every situation like this, what would Jesus do? This is where, if in a situation that can get “sticky”, you can ask the Lord to help you and give you the grace to be able to answer with a correct and good heart. Here’s what Colossians says:
Colossians 4:6 – NLT – Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
Sometimes, we just have to stop, think and process things before we respond. Here’s what Scripture says as well:
James 1:19-20 – NLT – Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
Sometimes, it’s worth it to take the biblical advice to be quick to listen and slow to speak. There is an old saying that goes: we need to “choose our battles”. How many times has a situation arisen where a wrong response cost a deep wound in someone close to us or ruined a friendship? And when we think about it later on, we wonder, “was it worth it?”
One area that can be a huge test to many of us in how we respond is political disagreements,which can easily elevate to a full scale war of words.How well do we as Christians respond to those who have those differing political opinions than ours? Do we respond in heated, unbridled anger that accomplishes nothing but harsh words, or do we respond in a biblical manner, with grace even though we may disagree? (and it’s OK to agree to disagree).
As we grow in our walk with God and learn how to submit to the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, we will learn better ways at choosing our choice of words when responding to a disagreement or a conflict of interest. Let us ask the Holy Spirit who dwells within to help us and pray the following Scripture the Psalmist desired:
Psalms 141:3 – NKJV – Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;Keep watch over the door of my lips.
