In the early hours on the rainy morning of September 26th, my grandmother, Arlene Bare, passed away. As I sit here reflecting on the life she lived, I realize how important she was to all of us—not just in the obvious ways that grandmothers tend to be, but as the one who grounded our family. She was the center we all revolved around, the one we all had in common, the one who showed us what it meant to love, work hard, and take care of one another.
Growing up, I learned so many valuable lessons from her. She taught me what it meant to have a strong work ethic, a trait she embodied every day. Raised on a little farm in Fulks Run, Virginia, she knew what hard work was from an early age. Her upbringing wasn’t one of privilege; it required perseverance and grit. Those experiences shaped her, and in turn, she shaped us. She showed me the value of being self-reliant, of taking pride in doing things for yourself.
My grandmother was an exceptional cook—truly one of the best. Her macaroni and cheese was legendary, and her pies and cakes were treats we all cherished. Food wasn’t just something to eat; it was an expression of care, a way of showing love to the people she fed. That lesson stuck with me—love isn’t always shown in big, grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s a warm meal, a carefully baked pie, a simple yet heartfelt action that says, “You are important to me, and I care about you.”
Beyond her culinary skills, my grandmother was known for her beautiful home garden. Without formal training, she had knowledge that resembled a master gardener. Her flower garden was more than just a collection of plants; it was a place of pride, a symbol of the patience, care, and love she poured into everything she did. She showed us the importance of tending to things—whether it was her garden, her family, or her home.
She worked full-time at a blue jean manufacturing plant while raising my dad and his two brothers, a testament to her resilience and dedication. She balanced work and family in a way that seemed effortless, though we all knew how hard she worked. Through it all, she gave back to her community, faithfully participating in her church and the Ladies’ Auxiliary, living by the belief that you should always strive to help others.
Another central part of my grandmother’s life was her love for her husband, Bruiser. Their marriage was far from perfect—they faced the same challenges, disagreements, and struggles that often lead people to drift apart or even divorce. But what made their relationship remarkable was that they found a way to work through it all. Despite the hard times, they chose to stay together, to fight for their bond. Their marriage wasn’t always wedded bliss, but it’s worth the effort when two people are willing to work for it.
She taught us honesty and integrity weren’t just words to her; they were values she lived by every single day. And while she loved her grandchildren deeply, she never let us get away with much. She kept us in line, not out of strictness, but out of love, because she wanted us to grow up to be respectful, responsible, and kind.
One of the things I’ll remember most about her was her friendliness. She had a way of making everyone feel at ease, her cheerful spirit touching the lives of everyone she met. But underneath that warmth was a strength forged through a life that wasn’t always easy. It’s that balance—her grace, warmth, and quiet strength—that made her so special.
Although, as we mourn her loss, I find comfort in knowing that my grandmother’s legacy will live on through all of us. She may no longer be here in person, but her memories, her lessons, and the example she set will remain in our lives. In every meal we prepare with love, in every moment of hard work in our gardens, and in the way we treat others with kindness and integrity, we carry a piece of her with us. Her spirit will always be a part of our family.
Rest in peace, Granny. Thank you for everything.
