In wrapping up last month’s column, I challenged you to think about what you’d like to be remembered for and what you can do to provide the right example for your children to have a real shot of making that a reality. Before we dig into some of the things you or I will need to do to make sure our communication and behavior lines up with what our kids need to be able to receive the messages we’re attempting to pass along, let’s consider how important a clear purpose, our own as well as one they can connect with, can be in helping anything we attempt to share actually get through.
I was a decent student through high school, and I did OK in most of the courses I took at Blue Ridge shortly after. That said, I could have done far better. I remember feeling like most of my classes through the last few years of high school and much of the required curriculum as I started community college were simply because someone, somewhere said so… I don’t recall having any real clarity around how I’d ever apply chemistry, calculus, or the multiple layers of English comp that I dreaded more than everything else put together. I absolutely hated reading, mainly because I’ve never been able to sit still very well.
Looking back though, I can’t point to ever seeing how any of the books that were required during my last few years of high school connected with anything I had ever even considered as a career. I did the least I possibly could to get through those classes and still graduate, then stopped registering for classes at BRCC when English was next on the list. I just didn’t see how most of those mandatory classes tied in with anything I felt was important. With that in mind, think about any issues you’ve had getting your own children to put their best foot forward with their studies or in anything else you know could serve them well moving forward.
As a quick side note, I did get some value from the college level English course I took more than fifteen years later, but I still have little desire to maintain proper grammar or punctuation…!
While maintaining tolerable grades through school, I did engage in (likely more than) my fair share of shenanigans. I’d like to think most were more mischievous than malicious, but still could have landed me in quite a bit of hot water on any given day. Like most kids, I wasn’t necessarily looking for bad things to do, it was just what the crowd I hung with was doing and I didn’t have anything more interesting pulling at me then, so I usually jumped right in – typically with both feet! Like the disinterest in schoolwork that I confessed to above, does this ring any bells for you or even as you’re raising your kids?
Now consider the times where your child shared something they had learned from someone else they found tremendous value in, and it just happened to be the same something you had told them dozens of times already… When someone else said it, though, it connected with something they were interested in – instead of being something mom or dad was harping on.
In each of these scenarios, I believe having even an initial glimpse of what it means to work toward a meaningful target – a purpose that makes a lasting impact – can play a critical role in how we help our children move in the best possible direction. If you’re not a parent, hopefully you can still connect the dots somehow; maybe even with your employees or coworkers? Moving forward, we’ll take a look at how we can each identify our own purpose (because I’ve never seen someone be able to help someone else find one without knowing their own) then we’ll dig into how we can help the people we care most about latch onto their own.
