Last time, we looked at how providing a clear purpose can help make even the most undesirable tasks tolerable. Knowing why something matters and how it directly impacts someone we care about is a difference maker for us all. Prior to looking at that, I made a case for the importance of connecting whatever it is we’re working toward directly to the purpose that’s most meaningful to us. Now it’s time to work on how we connect those dots for anyone counting on us.
In the seventh chapter of Leading With A Clear Purpose, I issue a challenge to leaders in the workplace to work toward helping each of their team members identify their own clear purpose; the thing that inspires them more than anything else. I believe that’s so critical, and so seldomly something that actually happens, that we’ve built an executive panel session covering exactly that into The LeadershipLegacy Experience with Dove Development & Consulting at JMU’s Atlantic Union Bank Center on Friday, June 13 where business leaders from across the country will share exactly how they’ve done this for their teams. But how does this apply in our private lives? Does this even matter when we’re interacting with our friends or family?
Cindy and I were with the executive team of a locally owned bank recently, an organization celebrating their 100th anniversary, when one of the most senior members in the group asked how often they should be talking about their purpose with the teams they lead. I immediately responded, saying that there’s no such thing as too often. Even then though, it matters little if the individual we’re talking with hasn’t identified a clear purpose of their own. As leaders, it’s crucial that we help them find this AND connect that with what we’re working toward together – but we’ll circle back to making that connection another time. For now, and for our purposes here, I want you to consider how much of a difference you could make for your close friends or family members by helping them crystallize a purpose they can grab hold of.
First though, I need you to remember that this isn’t about “being in charge of” anyone we’re working to help with this. That’s not what leadership is! Far too many folks see leadership as having some sort of authority. The most effective leaders I’ve ever known have earned influence by serving the people they care about, and that influence resulted in those people being willing to run through walls for them – even when there was no form of authority in the relationship.
For us to have a real shot at finding the purpose that matters most to a friend, a child, or any other family member, we need to be dialed in on what makes them tick; what makes them laugh, what makes them cry, or even what makes them angry. And truth be told, this changes over time (and quickly for our kids). But by investing energy into learning these things, we can develop a unique perspective that allows us to provide them with insight they may never find on their own. With that perspective, we can help them develop a clear picture of that unique purpose they can achieve – which almost always results in a drive to push through the toughest scenarios we can imagine. Since that’s more involved than we can hash out now, we’ll look at it in detail next time.
