Last month I gave you the big-picture overview of my upcoming book, The Values Advantage (releasing early 2026). The core idea: clear, lived-out core values are the bedrock of any thriving organization. This month we’re diving into Chapter 1 — and bringing it straight home.
For nearly twenty years I worked for a company I enjoyed. Then new senior leadership slowly drifted from the values printed in the handbook I’d helped write. Nothing illegal, just a quiet erosion of what mattered most to me – and to the majority of the most senior team members. Result? I hired 225 people in eighteen months just to maintain a consistent headcount. The workload didn’t break me — the values misalignment did. When what you value most is no longer valued by the people closest to you (boss, spouse, parent, friend), the relationship becomes unsustainable.
I’ve seen the same fracture in marriages and families. One partner says, “family first,” yet chooses the phone over dinner conversation night after night. Words and actions don’t match; trust crumbles the same way concrete fails when the rebar inside is compromised.
On the flip side, I’ve watched what happens when values are crystal-clear and consistently lived. My friends, Craig and Kim, bought a 75-year-old business in 2021, defined five non-negotiable values, and lived them every single day. Two years later: revenue up 50 %, voluntary turnover under 5 %, big raises for everyone, three new acquisitions, and a waiting list of people who want to work there. One veteran employee was in tears when the new handbook came out because, for the first time, he could see exactly what was expected — and that the owners actually meant it.
The exact same dynamic works at home.
Cindy and I have always had shared values, but when we finally wrote them out in detail, with specificity around what each looked like in practice, everything shifted. Arguments shortened. Appreciation grew louder. Our marriage has always been solid, but this new level of clarity provided a deeper sense of partnership built on reinforced concrete.
You’ll never agree with your spouse or kids on everything, but you can agree on the handful of things that matter most. When those few things are clear, modeled daily, and gently held accountable, the rest of life’s chaos becomes navigable.
Your assignment this month: sit down with the people you love most and answer three simple questions we learned several years ago from Jeff Henderson, author of Know What You’re FOR:
- What do you want to be known for?
- What are you known for?
- Do they match?
Write the answers where you’ll see them. Then do everything in your power to live your values daily so the answer to the third question is a resounding YES.
Values aren’t just for company handbooks. They’re the foundation for every relationship meant to last.
Mark your calendar: Sunday, January 18, 2026, 7:00 PM EST — our big pre-order launch live stream. Several leaders featured in the book’s closing “Real World Examples” chapter will join Cindy and me to share how living their values transformed both their businesses and their homes. Free registration and details at tva-framework.com.
See you there — and until then, lead at home the way you wish your boss led at work.
Wes Dove is the founder of Dove Development & Consulting, focused on helping organizations improve profitability by building better leaders. Prior to that, Wes did extensive work in behavior-based safety, as
well as safety and human resource compliance. As of August 2025, Wes has published two Amazon #1Best Sellers: What’s KILLING Your Profitability? (It ALL Boils Down to Leadership!) and Leading With A Clear Purpose. His third book, The Values Advantage, is scheduled for an early ’26 release and he’s currently working on the manuscript for a fourth. Wes and his wife, Cindy, speak to and provide training for organizations across the United States on the topics of leadership and workplace communication.
