The Red Panda Pose
The Music Department is a safe haven for many kids, often a place to connect, relax and decompress. It is no secret that today’s kids face a significantly higher level of stress, coming from more sources than teens “back-intha-day” ever had to deal with. As parents, we have heard it all, many times before: social media, academics, the daily news, concerns about family dynamics and as well as real or perceived pressures of future success are the loads that students carry with them every day, sometimes weighing even heavier than those backpacks that they haul around.
The push (internal or external) for students to excel in multiple areas can lead to overscheduling in academics, athletics, and extracurricular activities. Over scheduling can lead to burnout, which can come with an overwhelming sense of defeat, making it difficult for teens to wind down and relax when they finally do have the chance. Lack of adequate REM sleep is common among teens; at any age, lacking restful sleep amplifies distress, anxiety, and depression, just as the habit of excessive viewing of social media can contribute to isolation and feelings of loneliness. Feeling “less than”, when they see (the sometimes real, sometimes fake) images posted by their peers can magnify both emotions and stress significantly, especially if the student lacks a strong support network.
Families sometimes get stuck on how to encourage and empower their kids as they mature; sometimes it is tough to see them as are now, at their current age. We do know for sure that parents who “helicopter” over their kids restrict their personal growth, and that parents who “snowplow” over obstacles that stand in their kids’ way will find it backfires in the long run, because the kids don’t learn to rely on themselves.
Here are a few simple things that families can keep in mind, to provide support that empowers kids to stand tall and navigate today’s world.
ACADEMICS
“You have great ideas”, “I know you did your best”, “I am proud of you”, “You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing”.
- Schoolwork and Grades: Annual standardized testing in core subjects begins in third grade and continues through graduation. The pressure to maintain a high GPA is a long-term issue.
- College Plans: The competitive nature of college admissions and the pressure to stand out with extracurriculars and advanced placements creates significant academic stress for older kids. The pressure to “get ready for college” complicates things unnecessarily especially for younger kids.
- The Future: Teens may worry about their future choices, career paths and overall life plans, effectively holding them back from achieving goals.
RELATIONSHIPS AND SOCIAL DYNAMICS:
“Don’t be afraid to be yourself”, “You are enough”, “You can try again tomorrow”, “You don’t need to do what everyone else is doing”.
- Peer Pressure: Teens are often influenced by their peers; the pressure to conform, to participate in activities they might not be comfortable with, and to maintain unhealthy friendships is exhausting.
- Social media: Social media allows detailed comparison with others, and creates the real or perceived pressure to maintain a perfect online image, opening the door to cyberbullying.
- Friendships and Romantic Relationships: Navigating friendships and romantic relationships, including disagreements, breakups and the associated emotional distress
FAMILY ISSUES
“Don’t compare yourself to anyone else”, “You are important”, “You are worth it”, “I love that you are my kid”.
- Financial Stress: A family’s financial struggles can cause teens to feel guilty when legitimate needs arise, or make them feel pressured to contribute, as they worry about their families’ well-being.
- Family Conflict: Divorce, arguments, and other family conflicts can have a significant impact on teens’ mental health.
- Family Expectations: Teens may feel pressured to meet real or imagined high expectations from their parents or family.
GLOBAL AND PERSONAL CONCERNS
“It’s ok to be scared”, “Being kind does not make you weak”, “I’m listening”, “Your opinion matters”.
- Climate Change and Environmental Issues: Teens are increasingly aware of the environmental challenges facing the planet
- Political and Social Issues: Global events, political unrest, and social justice movements can also contribute to anxiety and stress
- Personal Trauma: Physical or emotional abuse, violence, or natural disasters can lead to traumatic stress and mental health challenges
I am the mother of two amazing daughters, and my brain often goes a mile a minute. Most folks who have ever sat in one of my Band rehearsals would agree that I am the “Queen of Random.” Often the biggest distraction in the room, I wander off topic worse than many of the kids–though there is typically a method to my madness. My Band kids are awesome, and many go right along with me. The joke of the moment in our Band room is, “When in doubt, Red Panda pose!” I recently learned (to my amusement) that much like when a cat ruffles up it’s fur to appear larger, the Red Panda will stand up on it’s hind legs and extend it’s little arms up in the air to appear more threatening than it really is. I posted an image of one of these little red, raccoon-like fluff balls with a sweet face, reaching up like a toddler wanting to be held, on the Smart Panel in the front of the JFH Band room. Kids coming to class immediately smiled and made their own Red Panda poses, when they saw his bright little eyes and fluffy fierceness.
How does this silly thing tie into daily life? It’s just simple stress relief; a random and silly way of acknowledging (but not surrendering to) the endless stream of toxic stress that we all experience each day. There are so many things that are out of our control these days that we all reach a point, where maybe we just need to throw up our hands “Red Panda” style and move on. Did a rainy day change the planned sports schedule? Did a test catch you off guard, because you thought you were better prepared than you were? Overwhelmed by the endless streams of information coming at you from the talking heads on the news, or on social media platforms? Puff up a bit and throw up your hands “Red Panda” style! Now, go and be kind, and make the world a better place! – MizB
